Kepala Kapas (Cotton Head)
*Long Post*
There was this girl that i've known since primary school. Let's call her Van. Van was from a different class. And I don't know her that well then. She is a very fair and quite pretty girl with natural born curly/frizzy hair hence all the boys called her "kepala kapas" which means Cotton Head in malay. What I remember most about her during those days was that she was a very fast runner. She runs with open palms and fingers all spread out like a fan...but she sure was fast..
When in Secondary school, we studied in the same Convent School and were in the same class and we became friends. From Form 1 to Form 5 we were quite close...with a few others. A whole bunch of us girls will go to her house and stay over night there almost every other weekend. We'll have ourselves a slumber party, pouring our hearts out, teasing each others about boys, crush, etc. You know, all those secrets that normal teenagers shared with their best friends.
But after Form 5, she went on to continue her studies in Form 6 and I went on to take up a Secretarial Course which was a sham! Nevermind that's a different story.
After she completed her Form 6 she went on to Teachers College, Van was those who loves to study but have to study very hard in order to maintain her slightly above average scores. During this period, we still maintain our friendship, by then i've joined the corporate world and most of our friends were too.
Later on she graduated from the Teachers College and joined the Academic world teaching in primary school. During this period, her beloved Grandma was diagnosed with cancer and was in very critical condition. She started avoiding us and if she ever joined us in our outings, she would keep to herself. No matter how much we tried to cheer her up she'll just keep quite. I know we were not able to help much in this situation but we were always there for her emotionally and spiritually. It also seems that she's been hanging around a bunch of new friends who are much much older than us that time. Maybe her new friends were able to help her or whatever...so gradually she drifted away from us.
After her grandma passed away she drifted even further apart from us. Thereafter whenever we meet she'll be like a stranger to us and conversations become quite strained..which was sad. Our friendship was dangling by a thin thread then but we still tried to keep it from totally being cut off.
A few years back she married a guy she met in Hong Kong...we were also invited to her wedding. She then moved to Hong Kong and we lost touch. She did come back for visits once in a while but never ever look us up. I happened to met her one day when she was back for one such visit and managed to get her email address.
However, no matter how many times i email her, she never once reply. I went so far as to question myself whether i've done something that in someway i've hurt her...i even go so far as to asked her about it and apologized to her if i've done anything that has wronged her in anyway. Still silence..so i stopped my emails.
Recently a mutual friend forwarded her photos to me, this mutual friend got her photos from another friend who got them from another friend. Seems she came back sometime in May this year with her family. She got a little boy around 2 years old now. Very cute boy who takes after her...very fair and got curly hair.
Looking at her photos, I'm happy for her and yet at the same time I have mixed emotions too, saddened and also angered for our lost friendship.
I haven't given up on her yet...am still trying to get her contacts. I know I can never hope for our friendship to be like it used to be...but I still want to remain a friend.
There was this girl that i've known since primary school. Let's call her Van. Van was from a different class. And I don't know her that well then. She is a very fair and quite pretty girl with natural born curly/frizzy hair hence all the boys called her "kepala kapas" which means Cotton Head in malay. What I remember most about her during those days was that she was a very fast runner. She runs with open palms and fingers all spread out like a fan...but she sure was fast..
When in Secondary school, we studied in the same Convent School and were in the same class and we became friends. From Form 1 to Form 5 we were quite close...with a few others. A whole bunch of us girls will go to her house and stay over night there almost every other weekend. We'll have ourselves a slumber party, pouring our hearts out, teasing each others about boys, crush, etc. You know, all those secrets that normal teenagers shared with their best friends.
But after Form 5, she went on to continue her studies in Form 6 and I went on to take up a Secretarial Course which was a sham! Nevermind that's a different story.
After she completed her Form 6 she went on to Teachers College, Van was those who loves to study but have to study very hard in order to maintain her slightly above average scores. During this period, we still maintain our friendship, by then i've joined the corporate world and most of our friends were too.
Later on she graduated from the Teachers College and joined the Academic world teaching in primary school. During this period, her beloved Grandma was diagnosed with cancer and was in very critical condition. She started avoiding us and if she ever joined us in our outings, she would keep to herself. No matter how much we tried to cheer her up she'll just keep quite. I know we were not able to help much in this situation but we were always there for her emotionally and spiritually. It also seems that she's been hanging around a bunch of new friends who are much much older than us that time. Maybe her new friends were able to help her or whatever...so gradually she drifted away from us.
After her grandma passed away she drifted even further apart from us. Thereafter whenever we meet she'll be like a stranger to us and conversations become quite strained..which was sad. Our friendship was dangling by a thin thread then but we still tried to keep it from totally being cut off.
A few years back she married a guy she met in Hong Kong...we were also invited to her wedding. She then moved to Hong Kong and we lost touch. She did come back for visits once in a while but never ever look us up. I happened to met her one day when she was back for one such visit and managed to get her email address.
However, no matter how many times i email her, she never once reply. I went so far as to question myself whether i've done something that in someway i've hurt her...i even go so far as to asked her about it and apologized to her if i've done anything that has wronged her in anyway. Still silence..so i stopped my emails.
Recently a mutual friend forwarded her photos to me, this mutual friend got her photos from another friend who got them from another friend. Seems she came back sometime in May this year with her family. She got a little boy around 2 years old now. Very cute boy who takes after her...very fair and got curly hair.
Looking at her photos, I'm happy for her and yet at the same time I have mixed emotions too, saddened and also angered for our lost friendship.
I haven't given up on her yet...am still trying to get her contacts. I know I can never hope for our friendship to be like it used to be...but I still want to remain a friend.
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